Ch. 143 Playing Dumb

From birth, Simon who is now 8, has been quite intelligent.  Very verbal from a young age, imaginative beyond boundaries, easily relational to all sorts of people, quick to memorize and very passionate about topics of interest.  With this little mind has come many, many challenges.  A very obstinate attitude, we are no strangers to.  It just morphs as he gets older.

In recent weeks, when we catch him doing something wrong, he plays dumb.  It goes like this:

"Simon, you know you are not allowed to..."  And before we can even explain what he did wrong we get- "What?!  I don't even know what you're talking about!"  Or, my personal, least, favorite- "What did I do?!!".

Usually these responses take the form of screaming.  Often they are demanding, not really questions at all.  And explaining to him how this is actually defiant is a whole other party.  But here's where I don't let him go.  I know he's smart.  I know he knows what is going on.  So I pin him down.

This morning I stayed very calm and we started from the beginning.  I asked him if he knew it was wrong to get in Matthew's Pack-n-play.  A shaking "yes" head.  Ok, when I told you not to do it, why did you act like you had no idea what you did wrong?  Puzzled look.  Why did you act like getting in the pack-n-play was ok?  Did you know it was wrong?  Yes.  Ok, here's where I have a problem, Son.  After I told you to get out and you had to sit on the bench, you acted like you didn't know it was wrong.  Puzzled look.

I kept saying the same thing over again until he finally relented and acknowledged that he in fact DID know-verbally saying yes- getting in the pack-n-play was wrong.  I pointed out that he acted like he didn't know what he did wrong.

I told him this was called playing dumb-and it was a lie.  I told him I know he is smart and he knows what is right and wrong.  I asked him if he knew what I meant.  Yes.  Yes-I saw it in his eyes.  We were on a level field now.  I explained his discipline-30 min in his bed after homework today-for playing dumb.

Confusion is the diversion.  He is a smart, thoughtful, and at times, very manipulative boy.  And as I observe other boys his age, they think they have us fooled.  There's no time for this sort of conversation between teachers and our children.  Recess aids and lunchroom attendants don't have the patience or personal knowledge of our children to call them on this.  Neighbors are tired and afraid to confront other people's kids.

I'm so glad that I know my children.  I'm so glad I know their hearts.  Where would they be if they were allowed to drift, to start believing their own lies and excuses?  Someday, I will not be that person.  Someday it will be between them and their King.  But I will never relinquish them to their sin.  Lord, help me to never believe the lies they try to tell themselves or others.  And, Lord, I pray you will be the King of their hearts and you will refuse to relinquish them too.

A most precious sound

Our little 16 month old, Matthew, was once again on the table.  This time it was because a chair had been left untucked and there were some legos to be had.  No matter how much we say no or spank, he loves to stand on the table.  Recently, though, we find him scooting back into the chair when we tell him to.

David has a way of getting quite annoyed when Matthew goes on the table to get his legos.  And this morning, while I was busy in the kitchen, Matthew was pushed off.  It started with a yell of, " No!  Stop!"  Then thud, cry.  "I tried to catch him, mom", from Emory.  The precious sound was to come later...

Matthew had a red oval on his forehead and he went directly to bed for a nap.  It was time anyway.

When I came down, David was sitting on the bench, as I had instructed.  The bench is our discipline spot-makes the perfect time-out seat and paddling area.  It is removed from the rest of the house and usually clear from debris.  I told David he was to have a paddle for what he did.  We then talked about it.  I went and got the paddle.

When I returned I watched him as he saw the paddle in my hand.  "I'm sorry, Mommy".  "I know you are, sweetie.  You need a paddle now".  I paddled him twice-just the right hurt for his little hiney.  He doesn't need a hard paddle.  Just seeing it really is probably enough.  I hugged him and he hugged me.  I told him I love him and I don't like to paddle, but I had to so he could remember not to push his baby brother off the table, or chair for that matter.  David was sad, he said it didn't hurt and held back tears, which is his normal reaction.  So tough.  4 this coming Friday.

About 10 minutes later I see the little boy in the corner of the kitchen.  He asks for something and I answer.  He then says, "Mommy, are you still mad at me?"  "No, honey.  I forgive you".  A visible wave of peace washes over his face.

Did I mention I love being a mommy?  What better place to hear the voice of Christ.  So precious.

This Little Light

What inspires me?  What gets me passionate?  I don't mean horses, difficult hikes with a great view or the reemergence of Spring.  What things stir an energy for change?

Right now it is this:  http://www.freedom.firm.in/

And this:  http://www.songlyrics.com/andrew-peterson/light-for-the-lost-boy/

And this: http://www.chaponline.com/


Ok I'll take break from c/v.  It's a new trick for me :-).

Oh, and one more: http://www.glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/


Sorry-this is somewhat of a journal that I can look back over and see that I was in fact inspired.
Last night I found myself in a place of deep un-inspiration.  My light was fading.  Why am I a mother?  Why do I get up and do it all over again?  It's not pretty.  It's not clean.  It's never done or complete.  But, there are those things that come along and make my little light shine brighter.  People too-I have a list of them.

Here's another thing that really ignites my flame- "Mommy where's my knife?"-and I know.  Then 30 seconds later, "Where's my sheath?"  And I know.  Except he says it more like "Where's my sheaf". He's not even 4, after all.

Even though the work is never done-oftentimes not even started, I really like being a mother.  I like being with my kids.  I like knowing what they know and watching them learn what I know.  I like-no love-having four little boys who are not men yet.  Who are excitable and silly and skinny.  They fight and cry and run, run, run.  They want to be held and eat way too much sugar.

Jesus found my heart and is changing it into His-and He loves little children.  Lord, give me eyes to see what you see and to learn what you know.  Help me, Father, to get up again and again, to never be finished and yet be inspired.

Rotavirus is Temporary

One of the hardest thing in a Mother's day to day is having sick little ones.  I'm not referring to cancer or serious diseases, I'm talking about the normal bugs of childhood.  Although, at any given moment these bugs seem that they have the capability to kill a child.
Recently we have had the exhaustive experience of bronchitis-Simon.  And then we have Rotavirus.  Both scary.  As my mothering experience widens I have realized there is no reason to panic. Things subside, kids heal, eat again.  But there are always those moments when the fear gets the better of me.  Not long lasting, but fear-dark and numb.
David is our bird.  Eats little, is little.  He's in the 5th percentile.  He scares me the most when he is sick.  Looks like a little Haulocost victim.  30lbs and almost 4 (next week).

Yesterday after writing the above stuff David seemed sicker.  He's better this am.  Note to self-PEDIALYTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!   No water-no soy milk-no juice.  If they won't drink-ok-just push the pedialyte untill they will.  Use a syringe to give 5cc at a time until they will drink on their own.  If they won't eat-ok.  But don't offer anything other than pedialyte until you KNOW they are better.

Mom and Dad stopped over yesterday and brought a bunch of stuff-more pedialyte, milk, dinner, chicken-which I better put in the freezer, paper towels, laundry soap, pasta.  So helpful.  And I'm snapping a lot at Dave.  I think having our kids be sick is such a test of faith and endurance.  I fail at both.  But at these times-I'm so thankful to have God.  To know he loves my kids-and lets them get sick.  I'm so thankful for the nurses at the Dr.'s office-Eileen- who care and call me back, who are smart and mature and get me squeezed in to see the doc.  I'm thankful for Pedialyte.  I'm thankful for Emory-who is joyful and home and loving.  I'm thankful for Dave who is supportive and sympathetic and hardworking.  I'm grateful for the many, many days that the children are healthy and loud and running everywhere.

Oh, Lord, please help me to remember how it feels to have a sick child!  Please help me to know that when they are well-we are in plenty!  Don't let go of me-help me to remember how precious they are when they are well.  Help me not to care about the dishes and toys and dirty floor.  Give me the supernatural power to care for them and trust your hand in this illness.  Help me to be perseverant as they need a loving mommy!

I need you, Lord Jesus.  Without your holy Spirit and strength, I can not be what I should.