Ch. 143 Playing Dumb

From birth, Simon who is now 8, has been quite intelligent.  Very verbal from a young age, imaginative beyond boundaries, easily relational to all sorts of people, quick to memorize and very passionate about topics of interest.  With this little mind has come many, many challenges.  A very obstinate attitude, we are no strangers to.  It just morphs as he gets older.

In recent weeks, when we catch him doing something wrong, he plays dumb.  It goes like this:

"Simon, you know you are not allowed to..."  And before we can even explain what he did wrong we get- "What?!  I don't even know what you're talking about!"  Or, my personal, least, favorite- "What did I do?!!".

Usually these responses take the form of screaming.  Often they are demanding, not really questions at all.  And explaining to him how this is actually defiant is a whole other party.  But here's where I don't let him go.  I know he's smart.  I know he knows what is going on.  So I pin him down.

This morning I stayed very calm and we started from the beginning.  I asked him if he knew it was wrong to get in Matthew's Pack-n-play.  A shaking "yes" head.  Ok, when I told you not to do it, why did you act like you had no idea what you did wrong?  Puzzled look.  Why did you act like getting in the pack-n-play was ok?  Did you know it was wrong?  Yes.  Ok, here's where I have a problem, Son.  After I told you to get out and you had to sit on the bench, you acted like you didn't know it was wrong.  Puzzled look.

I kept saying the same thing over again until he finally relented and acknowledged that he in fact DID know-verbally saying yes- getting in the pack-n-play was wrong.  I pointed out that he acted like he didn't know what he did wrong.

I told him this was called playing dumb-and it was a lie.  I told him I know he is smart and he knows what is right and wrong.  I asked him if he knew what I meant.  Yes.  Yes-I saw it in his eyes.  We were on a level field now.  I explained his discipline-30 min in his bed after homework today-for playing dumb.

Confusion is the diversion.  He is a smart, thoughtful, and at times, very manipulative boy.  And as I observe other boys his age, they think they have us fooled.  There's no time for this sort of conversation between teachers and our children.  Recess aids and lunchroom attendants don't have the patience or personal knowledge of our children to call them on this.  Neighbors are tired and afraid to confront other people's kids.

I'm so glad that I know my children.  I'm so glad I know their hearts.  Where would they be if they were allowed to drift, to start believing their own lies and excuses?  Someday, I will not be that person.  Someday it will be between them and their King.  But I will never relinquish them to their sin.  Lord, help me to never believe the lies they try to tell themselves or others.  And, Lord, I pray you will be the King of their hearts and you will refuse to relinquish them too.