Ch. 275: The Secret Formula

We have quite a group of children on our street, maybe about 17 in all.   I'm taking a really broad guess here and I think we all probably live within 300 yards.  There's really no secret formula to helping them get along.  It's a good mix of boys and girls, ranging in age from 1 to about 12.  There is conflict among them every day; from the boys vs. the girls to a boy vs. boy and girl vs. girl.  I've seen a couple of bonified fist or yelling fights-they are not pretty.  Hurt feelings occur often and there is lots and lots of treat sharing!

On any particular day, we can have all or just a few of them playing and running around.  I've never lived in such a place-where there are so many children in such a concentrated space.  The yards seem to flow together.  But it is their home-for all of them, this space will be the memories they have of childhood.  Having the busy street cutting through the "neighborhood" adds definite risk.  Maybe they like that.

It's been tough for me to define my place among the other parents.  We each have our unique ways of supervising, of course.  And because we live close to one another, our attitudes and actions often find crossroads.  Most times this brings peaceful results.   Occasionally there is conflict and that hasn't been a big deal to date.  I'm sensitive to that, conflict.  It's been a growth experience to feel unliked and move on.

A few things I've learned are this:

1.  I must be the mother God has created me to be.  By this, I mean-I feel very strongly about being present and responsible for my children.  I correct them and discipline them when I see or hear of a problem between them and the other children.  I seek God daily, moment to moment.  I am humbled by my sin and his mercy.   I also think I should stick up for my children if they are being treated wrongly.  If I am the only parent involved, this can be difficult, but necessary.  Sometimes, if I correct someone else's child, there is backlash.  But, still, I am a Christian parent and I feel I am serving God in my parenting.

2.  I am learning to be more judicious in judging the childrens' actions.  I no longer assume my children are being 100% impartial when reporting a problem.  They are all little sinners.  Sweet?-Yes, but sinners.  They are self centered and immature.  Some of them are angry.  But in their conflict we can find resolve if all are willing to honest. (Can I just say-man I appreciate when other parents know this!)

3.  Treats will unify any unruly tribe of heathens.  Take the crankiest, most competitive, selfish child and give them an ice pop and they are your best friend-at least for an hour.

4.  Sometimes we have to learn and move on.  Sometimes people will not change and be the person we want or feel we need them to be.  We must move on.  We can still love them and not have them change.  That love may look different than what we had in mind, but we are called to do it and we can.

5.  In my flesh, I am no better a parent than any other.  I yell at, get impatient with, some times even yank the arm of my children.  We are all tired parents;  all are sinners.  Only with the Holy Spirit of God at work in me can I push through and be forgiven and get back up.  I have nothing that makes ME a better parent or person.  It is only Christ at work in me.

5.  I am a tool to be used by the Lord, right here, right now.  I am here by Him and for Him.   Sometimes I wish we lived in a big expansive (and expensive) neighborhood.  It is not in the plan for us.  And I am sent back to a peaceful frame of mind when the chaos quiets and the children scatter.  God is working here.

6.  Living among and close to so many people; many of whom do not know Jesus, is a great gift for our children-and us!  We are challenged daily to seek Him and treat others how He would treat us.  We really learn to live out the biblical life.  I find that knowing God and who He is-really helps me know who I am.  It helps me to make decisions on how to relate to my neighbors and their children.  It helps me to move past problems and reach out to others.  Feeling close to Christ is how I get peace because I learn how he dealt with people (who were not like him-He never sinned).  There will never be a day that I don't sin-I am in no way comparing myself to Christ.  But knowing Him and having Him for my role-model is priceless.  Thank you, Lord, for your word and Spirit.

This is a big part of my life, this street.  I believe it saves me from myself- a lot.  I believe God has placed me here in His grace that I may bring glory to Him and not be depressed in my own world of self.  Thank you, Lord, for loving me enough to place me where I am uncomfortable and in constant need of your grace.  You are a wonderful teacher.  I trust, as the weeks go on, that you will show yourself in mighty ways through the people you have surrounded me with.  Love!!!!