We made our decision, Dave and me. We're doing it. Simon will be pulled from Octorara where he'd be entering the 3rd grade. Emory will never sit at a desk for Dr. Evans. No Halloween parades or Valentine parties and sacks of candy. No more bus stop mini-meetings with my mommy friends on the block. Yes, some very hard things for us to say goodbye to.
Stretched out before us is a new venture. I am looking at a horizon that will be almost entirely new. I'm scared. I'm apprehensive. I'm excited! This change for our family is big and it will be really hard. I think the hardest thing will be my self-discipline. Mostly the part where I want to yell and be mad and say things I will regret. That is the part I am afraid of. Can God make me different? Can his word transform me again? ...Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
I love God's word. It's all there. Every time I seek wisdom and comfort I find it. I may not FEEL it right away, but it comes. God IS faithful. So, why would he fail to be that this time?
I was talking to Bonnie, my sister-in-law, the other day and I told her how I like a challenge. I like to see if I can do it. Some things that come to mind as the biggest challenges I've faced are working in the ICU and giving birth at the birth center. In the ICU, where I worked for 1 year, I met God. He made Himself real to me. It was the scariest place I've ever worked and he was there. And at the birth center, where Matthew was born, I had no choice. I had to make it through labor and not lose it. There was no way out and I knew it going in. And I did it-no freakout. By God's grace, he allowed me to do it.
Will it be the same with homeschooling? I know I can't do it without Him. He's already given me a husband who fully supports the endeavor-new in the past few months. He's given me a full-day K program where I don't want my boys-and Emory can now read and write. God is proving Himself capable of this. Lord, help me let you. Make my heart teachable and changeable. Mold me into your image.
To live is Christ. All I have is yours. It's all I can give. And everything that is attached to me-my worries, my fears, my loves, my frustrations, my fatigue, my messes, my failures. Here you go, Lord. I lay it at the foot of the cross, where you died to save me from eternal suffering because you love me.
Hope that you got some inspiration from Chap as well. Excited for you in your new endeavor. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteYes-we had a great time at Chap. I was really thankful to have Dave along. He had his head on the ground and mine was in the clouds. Saw a few good speakers.
DeletePraying for you and your family too.
There was a story in the Inquirer on Sunday, June 6th, about a 7 year old boy named Jack Smalley, he is home-schooled and is studying philosophy as a co-op subject.When asked about home-schooling he said, " At regular school, you don't have as much time to do things. I definitely get to eat better lunch (at home). I don't have to miss my family, and that's pretty much why I like home-schooling better than public school."
ReplyDeleteSounds good to me.
I like his answer. It sounds very 7 year old. That is a lot of why I want them here. And I hope they will see the benefits and we will not focus on the losses. There are many blessings in public school. God is there too.
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