There really are few doctors who are worthy of deep trust. Most of them are just like you and me. Well, all of them are to a degree. We're all sinners in desperate need of Christ. Sometimes, though, there will be a person who comes along who has a really unique mix of experience and humility; decisive execution and calm approach; deep care. One that makes you think, "I can trust this person with the lives of my children".
I've met a lot of doctors.
I've met arrogant ones-who new science and the body really well. But would they ever own up to making an error?-no way. And maybe they really think they've never made a mistake. Maybe they've contrived a defense against the harsh realities of nature-that all that goes wrong is not due to their incompetence. They are unforgiving and authoritative.
I've met friendly doctors who don't pretend to know everything; a bit wishy/washy. They have a hard time making decisions and often let you decide the course. At first, they are comforting in their genuineness. They really care about the patients and want what is best. Problem is, they don't know what is best. They seem scared of doing the wrong thing and don't want to be the one to hurt someone. Unfortunately the nature of being a physician is that you are willing to make a decision and guide those who seek your expertise. It takes courage.
Then there are the ones who appear very confident and able, but make wrong diagnoses. They hold onto their decisions when questioned-not out of true knowledge, but out of the fear of not knowing. Maybe they are needy for their own group of trusting patients. Maybe they haven't learned the delicate dance of humility and answers. These are the ones that frustrate me the most. I get a clear answer-out of left field mind you, but very direct. I get treatment and explanations, but it's a superficial confidence. No humility, no openness.
The doctor I trust is one who proves him or herself over and over. The decisions seem strange, but work. The assessment can seem a little distant, but caring; not overly personal, but not cold. They know about little rashes AND cancer. And they are willing to sway a little to the left or right depending on your level of understanding and comfort. These doctors respect a sixth sense. They understand it's not all up to them, but yet they have a huge responsibility. And if I'm really, really fortunate, they even pray.
I'm grateful for our top notch medical system. I'm so glad I'm not raising our kids in a 3rd world nation where every illness could very well be fatal without a drive-or flight-many hours to a semi-progressive hospital. But even with our ahead-of-the-times procedures and equipment, people still get sick and die.
I've been writing this post over the last week. I had a run-in that left a bad taste in my mouth. But after this Sunday's sermon I realized something. There were a few blessings that came with the misdiagnosed childhood illness. Yes, the course of treatment was drastically different, but there were blessings even in the mistake. God is there in the mistakes. I'm glad I had a little grace in the situation. But I think I was hard on the Doctor who made the error-not to her face, but in my heart. I felt superior. But I'm not. I have no gift there and neither did she. It comes down to pride for both of us.
"...In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength..." Isaiah 30:15
I'll be repeating this verse for a while.
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